Leading a Life of Gratitude

• Guest Author: Jonathan Pitts, President at For Girls Like You Ministries
• Posted: November 3, 2025

There’s an old axiom that I believe goes back to theologian and professor Howard Hendricks:

“You teach what you know, but you reproduce who you are.”

As a father of five children, ages twenty-one and married down to just shy of two years old, I can tell you from experience this is true—for good and for ill.

Recently, my wife captured a picture of this reality. Our son, just eighteen months old and beginning to gain real balance, was standing with me in a Tennessee creek for the first time. We found ourselves walking on the smooth stones in the shallows at sunset, the light piercing through the green foliage that covered the creek. Instinctively, I began to pick up stones to skip across the water. Just as instinctively, I handed him stones and gave him my best instructions. He watched closely, looking for cues. But he wasn’t content for me to hand him stones. He wanted to pick up his own. I could see in his eyes that he wanted to emulate my every move.

And then, at just the right moment, my wife caught a photo of us throwing a stone at the same time in the same direction. We looked like differently sized twins. It was a beautiful moment—and also a powerful reminder of what is happening in our relationship moment by moment, day by day.

He’s watching. He’s listening. And more than that, he’s imitating.

That reality is true in every area of life, but one place I’ve felt it especially is in gratitude.

With my four daughters, who are now teenagers and young adults, I can look back and see how often my immaturity showed itself in words of complaint. They received not only my love and care, but also my ease with ingratitude. Now, with my son, I find myself far more intentional to model gratitude, because I know all of my children are watching, looking for cues, looking for someone to emulate. As their dad, the impact I have—for good or for ill—is disproportionately greater than anyone else.

I will teach what I know. But I will reproduce who I am.

Which leads me to ask, am I leading a life of gratitude that reproduces health and maturity in the life of my children?

The Apostle Paul gives us a guide. To the Philippians he wrote:

“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!”

And then he added:

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” (Philippians 4:4, 8)

Paul encouraged mature believers to discipline their minds toward what is good and to let their lives reflect it. He offered a similar word to the church at Corinth, a young and gifted yet divided community:

“Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.” (1 Corinthians 13:6)

In both cases, Paul was urging spiritual children to model lives of integrity—to align words with actions so that truth, gratitude, and love could be reproduced.

And that’s the challenge for me as a parent. Do I complain to my kids about my kids, or about my neighbors, family, work, or schedule? If so, my life is out of alignment with what the Lord calls me to in regards to gratitude and I’m likely reproducing something vastly different that what I’ve been teaching.

So what do we do with this reality? We ask the Lord: “Where does my life not line up with my teachings? Where am I reproducing ingratitude when I want to be reproducing gratitude?”

My prayer is that the Lord will bring those places to light and grow us in our ability to teach and reproduce godliness in our children. Our kids don’t need perfect parents. But they do need parents whose lives are aligned with their words, and who are growing in gratitude and love.